Don't Network. Observe.

Just been to Sainsburys for sustenance.
Sandwich & coffee.
Parked up in a layby.
Looking at the sky.

Marianne calls with a question.

Dok, everybody says networking is important. But I hate networking events. They feel fake. Am I missing something?

DOK: Haha, they are fake. Everybody is cheesy smiles. But all there for money. Making contacts who might slip them a deal.

I’ve been to a few networking events in my time.
It was fun.
But I was there as an observer.

I always looked out for the ones that were the most successful.
They stood out.
They’d be relaxed and dressed very casually.
Almost laconic in their manner.

The rest exuded either desperation or they were there as they thought they ought to be because that’s what you do if you’re in business.

I’d get a few coming up to me to find out what I was about.
They could tell I was a wildcard.

Even more so when I told them what I do — and that I was there for fun rather than money as I couldn’t see that anybody would want to give me money.

You’re not missing something with networking events.

I’d recommend you stop thinking of it as a networking event. Think of it as a field observation exercise.

Use what I’ve outlined in Dokology.

Stop internal dialogue.
Observe people’s manner.
How they talk.

And make sure you body-scan and stay relaxed yourself.

If it doesn’t cause an issue with your employer, dress how you would if you’re going to meet friends in a relaxed environment.

Don’t be “business-like”.

If anyone approaches you, which they do at networking events, stay laconic, don’t try to sell what you do. Don’t say too much on that. Let them ask. Then ask about them. They’ll lay down the spiel.

But you then switch subjects. Perhaps ask, “If you didn’t have to work for a living, what would you do?”

Things like that. Go left-field. See how people react.

Don’t even offer your card.
Let them ask for it.

Most will as they will be intrigued.

You’ll have more fun and that’s enough in itself!