Passive Aggression & How To Deal With It
Strategy and psionics
Raining.
Parked up at Sainsbury’s.
People dashing through the downpour.
Me?
I like rain.
Another element.
Phone goes.
Marianne.
Works in PR.
On my Dokology Program.
MARIANNE: Hey Dok, I need some advice. You remember I told you about my colleague? She’s nice to my face. But it always feels like passive aggression. And I notice she works slowly with me on projects that I’m in charge of.
Thing is, the buck stops with me. I’m the one who lands in hot water.
I honestly don’t know why she does it. Does she hate me or what?
Any advice on how to deal with it?
DOK: Sometimes people are trying to score Brownie points against others. Other times they simply don’t like you. You can be perfectly pleasant, but somebody feels an almost animalistic distaste toward you — usually some emotional trigger from their past. You might remind them of somebody on an unconscious level.
Most people aren’t especially self-aware. They run on emotional reactions.
So don’t obsess over why.
Deal with what is.
Formulate a strategy that derails the behaviour.
MARIANNE: What do you suggest?
DOK: Give your colleague deadlines for every aspect of a project. Operate more like a software firm.
Set up a system where she has to record progress at the end of play.
Keep records of everything. Emails. Internal messaging.
If she goes off-grid and uses WhatsApp, screenshot it.
PR is a glam-chat business. A lot of it runs on mood and improvisation. So tighten the workflow until there’s very little room to manoeuvre.
But here’s the important bit:
Stay pleasant to her face at all times.
MARIANNE: I’ll see to that. Is there anything we can do on the unseen realm to get her off my back? I’d like to hit her with a year’s bad luck, to be honest.
DOK: I can do some psionics to push her away. That doesn’t necessarily mean bad luck.
Remember, people seek movement and advancement. You can use that tendency to advantage. Somebody might offer her another role elsewhere.
That’s often how these things work.
The result usually arrives through a left-field channel.
Maybe she’s out somewhere. Gets talking to somebody. A new opportunity appears. Suddenly she’s gone from your orbit.
Psionics is really about nudging probabilities.
You could think of it as giving the wheels of fate a push.
MARIANNE: I’m good with that. I’d still like to hex her ass though!
DOK: Don’t we all, darling.
But the game is keeping your emotions under control. Like I teach you.
If you don’t react emotionally, you’re already ahead of most people.
Flow like water.
Bend with the wind.
Not long after we hung up,
I jotted down that I needed to do a psionics working for her.
Then I watched the raindrops hitting the windscreen.
Making whirling patterns.
Unconcerned with the machinations of humans.
Yet somehow part of the cosmic weave few ever truly grasp.
Dokology: monthly consultations with Doktor Snake.
https://www.doktorsnake.com/dokology/